The Art of Caregiving by Michael S. Barry

Author:Michael S. Barry
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Caregivers, Cancer, Hope, Encouragement
ISBN: 9781434765574
Publisher: David C. Cook

REAL FRIENDS RESPECT A PATIENT’S RIGHT TO ENJOY LIFE

Cancer patients have the right to be happy as they face an uncertain future. They have the right to live out their life, however long it is, with joy, laughter, accomplishment, and purpose. The job of a caregiver is to ensure our loved ones are aware of the choices they have to experience joy or sadness—and then, assuming they prefer joy over sadness, to help them learn to be and stay joyful. How? By our joyful example!

As a caregiver, especially to cancer patients, resist the temptation to focus on how long your loved one might live. Remember that no one knows the answer to “How long?” but God. What we do know about life, for all of us, is that it is fleeting.

Show me, O LORD, my life’s end

and the number of my days;

let me know how fleeting is my life.

You have made my days a mere handbreadth;

the span of my years is as nothing before you.

Each man’s life is but a breath. (Ps. 39:4–5)

We know that life is like a mist. “Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes” (James 4:14).

As Jesus taught, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” (Matt. 6:27). We have little control over the quantity of our days; therefore, we ought to focus on those things that bring quality to our life. Life is too fleeting to waste it.

I know you may be thinking that caregiving is easier said than done. And yet, once people are reconciled to the fact that they are mortal and that death cannot be avoided, a supernatural sense of peace and joy often enters their lives. Some of the happiest people I know are people who have cancer. They are not happy because they have cancer, they are happy in spite of it. They, better than most of us, have a very high “get it” factor. They get that life is precious. They get that life is temporary. They get the idea that life is not to be wasted. Cancer has forced them into a reality that ultimately leads them to discover what life is about and how they could and should have been living all along. As their caregiver, we are called to help them learn these lessons. But first we need to learn them ourselves.

A life well lived is not filled with regret. That’s true for both those dealing with terminal disease and their caregivers. Even if your loved one has little time to live, you will likely regret it if you have not done everything you can to enhance his or her quality of life while you have the opportunity. Remember that this person’s life at this (and every) point is in God’s hands.

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